Life Goals, Means Goals, Business Goals, Relationship Goals, End Goals, Love, Goal Setting, Dreams or Goals.

What are they, who says what our goals should be, there are the SOCIETY ones that we are supposedly aiming for get a good grade at school, go to university, get a good degree, get a good job, buy a house, get married THE END.

Why should any of those be your goals, why does society decide on our goals and our goal setting.  For to long we have been told how to set goals that lead to means goals, to get the good job you get the good grade, to get the nice house you get the dream job, these are means goals a means to an end, the saying is true in that the majority of us set means to meet the ends.  Means goals are generally easy to spot because they contain a SO, get a good degree SO you get a good job, Get a good job SO you can afford a good house.  A simple question right now is does “YOUR GOAL” have a SO in it.

End goals are about following your heart, when you are aiming for your end goals it may be hard work but you enjoy doing what you are doing to get there.  Working on end goals revitalise you, end goals are often feelings, to feel loved, to be HAPPY, end goals have happiness entrenched with in them.

Like the majority of people I followed the same process for setting my goals, there are even posts on here about it the SMART method.  I now have a new method for goal setting that i have learnt this year after reading the code of the extraordinary mind.

For all goal setting there are three questions to ask yourself.

1: What experiences do you want in this Lifetime?

2: How do you want to grow?

3: How do you want to contribute?

In the table below you see that the three questions each have areas aligned to them, i will explain more as we go on.

When asking yourself these questions do it from the standpoint that time and money are not an object, you do not need to ask anyone’s permission, what kind of experiences would you truly seek, what would your heart and soul desire.


Your Love Relationship;  What would it truly be like in every way.

Your Friendships;  What experiences would you love to experience with your friends.

Your Adventures;    Think for a few minutes about people you know who have had amazing adventures, what would yours be.

Your Environment: What would your perfect home look like, what would your favourite space in this home look like, what would be your favourite view in your perfect home, what would your creative and work space look like.


How do you want to grow, A child’s brain undergoes an amazing period of development from birth to three—producing 700 new neural connections every second. Children love to learn and grow and this should carry on throughout life, I do not mean normal education learning I mean personal learning and growth.

Health and Fitness;  Describe how you want to feel and look every day, in 5, 10 even 20 years from now, what food will you eat how will you stay fit and healthy, are their fitness goals you would like to achieve just to say you have done them, climb a mountain, learn to salsa they are your goals nobody else’s.
Intellectual Life;  For you to have the experiences you have listed so far what would you have to learn in order to achieve them, what books would you like to read to stretch your mind, are there languages you would like to learn.
Skills;  For you to be the best at your job what skills would you master, what if you wanted to change jobs what new skills would you need to learn, what would make you happy and proud to learn just for you.
Spiritual Life;  This does not mean religion though if that is your spirituality how could you grow that, would you like to learn deep meditation, yoga, ways to overcome stress and anxiety, what is your highest aspiration.


How Do You Want To Contribute?

The Dalai Lama said “If you want to be happy, make others happy”

You are asking yourself “If I have the experiences I have listed and have grown in the areas I want to, how can I give back to the world”

Career;  What are your visions for your career, How high in your field do you wish to reach and why, what contribution to your industry and field can you give, if the career you are in does not fit this what career would you like to contribute in.

Creative Life;  How can you contribute through your creativity, what creative areas do you love, is it painting, photography, cooking or poetry, what creative skills could you learn and share with the world.

Family Life;  Think of ways you can be with your family that truly fill you with happiness.  What can you contribute to your family that is totally unique to you, family does not have to mean what society defines as family, you may be single and class a few close friends as family, it is your family.

Community Life;  How would you like to be able to contribute to your community, this could be friends, local community, city, religion or even the world community.  What mark do you want to leave on the world that really fulfils and excites you.

When you come to doing your goal setting take a sheet of A4 paper draw three columns with the three fields of Experiences, Growth, Contribution.  Set a timer and spend three to four minutes on each area, write down what is from your heart and gut, do not dwell on it.  You can revisit this again.  Keep it simple and do not over think it! By setting the timer for that short time it shuts down the logical conscious mind and allows the creative mind to flow.  Trust your gut believe your intuition, do not spend to long do not worry about spelling and grammar if drawing a picture helps do that. You can always go back after the timer has gone to analyze and correct.


When you have done your list put it somewhere that you can see it every day.

This exercise is the very basic form for goal setting, if you have any questions or want coaching on this then do not hesitate to contact me.


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